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Transcription:Spring of the Drowned Girl
(A nature guide and some students that are using their cellphones are out in the open, wearing hunting equipment.) Nature Guide: Okay, kids, who wants to learn about different types of leaves? (The students don't reply, continuing to play with their phones.) Nature Guide: Okay, who wants to play on your cell phones and Twitter your Facebooks, or whatever the hell? I guess I'll smoke behind that tree. See you. (After the guide walks off-screen, the toursits exit until only the Nerd remains, holding a brochure with pictures of leaves and berries on it.) Nerd: But...what about the leaves? (He walks over to a pool of water with a sign that reads, "Spring of the Drowned Girl".) Nerd: Oh, my Gosh, just like the classic anime, Ranma Nibun No Ichi! ''Whoever bathes in the Spring of Drowned Girl will become an awesomely sexy lady. he says this, a thought bubble appears with Ranma inside, who changes into his girl form; then the Nerd thinks about what to do So the question is, do I want to be an awesomely sexy lady? Hmmm.... (''In his imagination, the Nerd has become a girl and examines his chest, private area, behind, and breasts.) Nerd: in excitement Oh, my Gosh! I've got - and I've - and this is - and these are m - Ohh, it feels so good to the hand! (In the next scene, the Nerd is buying a stack of comic books at a comic store.) Harry Knowles, the clerk: That will be $68.50... Nerd flashes his breats at him to make him gasp by which I mean free! Nerd: 'up the books What wonderful powers! (''The Nerd laughs, and is then seen in a dressing room, dressing up as Lara Croft from Tomb Raider, Elektra Natchios from Elektra, Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy, and Catwoman from Batman.) '''Nerd: Lara Croft, drawing two pistols Hmmm... any tombs you'd like to raid? Elektra Natchios, swirling around with two swords The Frank Miller one, not the Jennifer Garner one. Tifa Lockhart This may be your final fantasy. Catwoman How about a look at these jewels, Batman? (After all of this, the Nerd is seen wandering through a women's shower at a gymnasium, wrapped in a towel, and singing to himself.) Nerd: Hello, ladies. Yes, good to see you. his towel off and walks to two ladies, who are using shower puffs Just another girl. his breasts Oh, gosh, these are so heavy! Blond Girl: '''back up from the brunette girl rubbing her bottom Oh, let us help you! '''Nerd: That's good - that's good! You're really helping, girls! moans Brunette Girl: realized the reverse effect Hey, doesn't hot water turn Ranma into a boy again? Blond Girl: Uh, yeah! (The Nerd suddenly turns back into a boy and covers himself up, making the girls groan in annoyance. Then they start beating up him, knocking him to the floor.) Blond Girl: How gross! Nerd: out one of the puffs the girls used to punch him Well, it's still... you know, skin contact. from his nose, and the red-haired girl ground pounds him Whoopee! (The scene fades back to the Nerd still standing at the spring.) Nerd: Yes, I do want to be an awesomely sexy lady! and jumps into the spring "Mammarize" me, forces of the universe! the water around to make it splash Splash, splash, splash! (The Nerd hides as his group walks up to the spring.) Nature Guide: And, tragically, this is where a young lady drowned many years ago. Brunette Tourist: his right hand Was she hot? Nature Guide: '''his own brochure The brochure says she was 400 pounds, with a clubbed foot and... chronic flatulence. So, no. Anyway, back on the bus, everybody. Move it around... '''Nerd: about what the nature guide has just said and watching his group leave Oh, no...! (The next day in school, the Nerd is now overweight, club-footed, and wearing a "Team Awesome" shirt.) Kaitlin: Hey, you must be the new girl. My name's Kaitlin. (Before the Nerd can speak, he farts loudly, making Kaitlin groan in disgust.) Nerd: despair Dang it. (He farts a few more times and hangs his head, cutting to the channel surf effect.) Category:Transcriptions